Day 1 (part 2)
So there I was standing in the shower room and I thought.’why not’. I got undressed and stepped into the shower, after turning it on of course. It was refreshing to get rid of the blood and other yucky stuff, though the hot water stung the lash marks that made my back look like a road map of the USA.
I dressed then shouted for a guard. As there is no paper or pen in my cell, the conversation that followed went like this. ( M=me G=Guard)
G: What is it DeSantis?
M: Could you come to the shower room please Sir.
G: Dammit, one minute DeSantis.
M: No problem Sir, I’m not going anywhere it seems.
G: Watch your lip.
M: (whispers..Gotcha) Sorry Sir.
The Guard arrives at the door
G: What is it?
M: No sink Sir!
G: What? !!! (door opens)
M: No sink Sir.
G: You taking the piss DeSantis?
M: No Sir, just had one, that’s why I need the sink Sir.
G: What the f*** for DeSantis?
M: To wash my hands Sir.
G: WHAT?!!!! (now seems to be getting angry haha) What you on about?
M: Obvious I would have thought Sir…Take a leak..wash hands. Only I can’t Sir.
G: Can’t what DeSantis? Take a leak or wash hands?
M: Are you thick Sir, just said I took a leak but no sink Sir.
G: Use the shower (I think he is testing me now) and watch your mouth DeSantis!!
M: Waste of water Sir. Ouch
15 seconds later I am back in the cell.
G: Now let me get this straight DeSantis. You need a sink to wash your hands?
I roll my eyes, think he is starting to get the point..
M: Yes Sir
G: And you can’t use the shower for that as it is a waste of water?
M: 2/2
G What the f*** is 2/2?
My god this guy is thick but I smile sweetly..
M: It means two out of two correct Sir
G: You bad mouthing me DeSantis? ..coz if you are…
M: No Sir, I wouldn’t dare Sir (even though I was!)
G: Then shut up about the damn sink and stay there.
M: Yes Sir! (whispers..Can’t go anywhere anyway you moron)
He walks off and I’m left on my own for a while. A few minutes go by and a new guard appears
G: You new DeSantis?
M: Yes Sir
G: OK, out to the yard.
M: But Sir…
G: No buts…out!
I’m thinking of telling him about the other guard’s order but hey, if it gets me out of the cell so much the better. We get to the yard and I start chatting to the other Guys. Suddenly I am on my back, I stupidly answered yes to an animate request. I look down and there is some nutter trying to hump me.
“What the f***uck you doing man?” I scream
“Pouncing you buddy” the idiot replies.
“Get off me you twat, I’ve only just showered and you look filthy” I retort.
“No harm done bud” ‘Pouncer’ answers.
“NO HARM..NO HARM.. I’m filthy now asswipe” I scream and rush off into the shower room. Whilst in there I hear them chatting.
Prisoner 1: What’s up with him?
Pouncer: Dunno, is he new?
Prisoner 1: Yeah, second shower he has had already. Wants a sink too!
Pouncer: A Sink? What for?
Prisoner 1: To wash his hands apparently?
Pouncer: he a nutter or what?
Prisoner 1: nah, you’re the nutter in here Pouncer lol.
Pouncer: Right..that does it.
I stroll out to find Pouncer trying to hump the other guy. Looks like this place isn’t so bad after all. My mistake.
“DESANTIS..WHAT THE F*** YOU DOING OUT OF YOUR CELL?!!!!”
‘Oh Christ’ I thought ‘here we go again’.
End of part 2. Next episode; Day 2 ...The Tower revisited;
Footnote: Pouncer is not the real name of the prisoner.
