Dear Bella,
I have just found out that my best m8 is a woman! With voice in second life, I couldn't wait to chat to my best m8 the way we had been for months but he kept declining my calls, saying he didnt have a mic.
Then I heard him talking to some 1 else and was shocked to hear a girls voice. Why would he pretend to be a man when he is a girl? Why wouldn't he/she share something like this with me? What am I going to do? I feel betrayed and tricked and made a fool of. I told him/her all kinds of things you would only share with another man.
"Hurt and Confused"
Dear 'Hurt and Confused',
Deceit is hardly a good basis for any kind of relationship, so you are justified in feeling betrayed.
Why a person would pretend to be a gender they're not is understandable. I know several people who have wanted to experience life as the opposite sex, for different reasons.
One woman pretended to be a man to avoid all the sexual attention they were getting; and another, a man, pretended to be a woman because they wanted a pretty avatar to look at, and to also see if it were true that you can get men to do things for you if you're a pretty woman.
BUT the fact that your friend chose to keep you in the dark about this is the issue, not the fact that they were pretending to be something they weren't.
True friendship is a relationship where you share confidences and trust that the other person has your best interests at heart.
As the old saying goes: "Friendship is knowing all about somebody, and loving them just the same."
Your friend either didn't trust you to share the reasons why they were a woman/girl pretending to be a man; or their priority was to see just how far they could take it without being discovered. (They must have done a good job or else your suspicious would have been roused!)
The challenge for you will be seeing if you can get past their deception as you may always have an element of not trusting them from now on. You will probably find out more about why they did this when you tell them you know their secret. That will be the turning point.
They will either tell you all about it, or not. You will know instinctively what course of action you want to take once you have both broached the subject and had some open discussion about it.
Best of luck! I'll be interested to hear back from you why they felt it necessary to keep such an elemental part of their personality from you.
Bella
