Well most of you have seen this problem in second life, people judge and bring others down to the point of leaving second life or even more kill themselves in real life.Two months ago, I read a story from my news in real life. A 15 year old young boy, was playing second life, people were making fun of him all the time because he admitted that he was gay in his profile.
I'm not gonna reveal my source this lady asked not too be named, lets just say it is his real life mom, yes she plays second life now, for reasons that we should all see. Her goal is to try and make second life better for people so this does not happen, this 15 year old boy, ended up killing himself in real life over a video game, yes i do admit he was underage, but still he should not of had to go that far. I pray that the people who made fun of him realize what they did to his heart in real life.
Some of the questions I have had in the past is, why people get so down that they end up wanting too kill themselves? Why do people let video games go to their head? So I an gonna go out and talk to some therapists in second life, and have some of my questions answered, as you will all read this I hope it will change the way people judge others
.
I'm am here with Ceileidh Ohara, she is a second life therapist, I'm gonna ask her some questions and you will see what happens to
o people.
Zaclegend Usher: Hello Ceileidh Ohara, As you know I work for the newspaper, and I'm doing a paper on judging people in second life, how do you feel about this topic?
Ceileidh Ohara: Well I'd say judging people in SL is a pretty stupid thing to do. ;) Mostly because you don't really know the person on the other end of that avatar, but then, I think judging people (and I"m assuming a negative context here) is just pretty much wrong anywhere, not just SL.
Zaclegend Usher: Why do you think people judge people in second life?
Ceileidh Ohara: Same reasons they do so everywhere else. Ignorance, fear, a need to feel superior by making others feel inferior or a need to control everyone around them in order to justify their own morality
Zaclegend Usher: This brings down the person that plays that av, Do you have any ways that the person who is being judged, can keep calm, not run out of second life, or worse kill themselves like that 15 year old did?
Ceileidh Ohara: The experiences people have in Second Life are complex ones. It isn't as simple as "it's just a video game". Second Life isn't just a game, it is, at the core, a created community. People joined together by shared interests, rather than just the luck of where they happened to be born. So when you are an unstable person in real life, you're bringing that here, into Second Life, as well. One of the strange things about online community and relationships is how intense they can be. Because so many things are stripped away, and ultimately all you have for dealing with people are these words and animations we have. They give a false sense of intimacy. People think they "really know" someone, and tend to behave according to that mistaken assumption,but they really don't know that person. Too often, people do the corollary, which is that they think they are "really known" or that someone "really gets them" or "really understands them" that's just as false a sense. So what happens is they find out someone they thought they were very intimate with doesn't -really- know them, and it -hurts-
Zaclegend Usher: That sounds so true, Is there ways too avoid being judged?
Ceileidh Ohara: There is no way to avoid being judged. It's human nature to judge people. The only thing you can do is learn to recognize inside yourself when you're judging other people unfairly, and really examine your own reactions to people. Sure, you can hide things about yourself if you wish, Just avoid not telling folks things, that's one good protection you can use to your advantage. In fact, I strongly recommend that because there's no need to tell everyone everything about yourself even when you do, that, though, people start judging you for being 'cagey' :)
Zaclegend Usher: If I had advice, I would say just walk away and not talk too them is this good advice?
Ceileidh Ohara: The real issue is learning more about caring for yourself better. Know that you're going to be judged, and realize that anyone who judges you negatively over interactions here in SL have their own limitations, and they don't define you.
Ceileidh Ohara: Oh absolutely, people need to learn how to ignore others. You have no obligation to listen to what anyone has to say here
Zaclegend Usher: OK, on a closing note do you have anything you would like to add without me asking?
Ceileidh Ohara: I want to point up that comment I just made, to emphasize it. People in second life do not define you. You define yourself. If they don't like that definition, find another sim to hang out on. There's plenty.
Zaclegend Usher: Thats what i do.
Zaclegend Usher: Ok, well I thank you for your time, and I wish you alot of luck, in your therapy route.
As you all see, people are judged every day in second life, All you can do to stop it, is walk away, please don't stand around and take it, this will drag you down and make you hurt even more, and to the parent who lost your son in real life, I am sorry it went down to that, he had a great looking life in front of him. If you need anything just IM me, I support what your trying to do in second life, and hope you will keep it up, I wish you luck, and keep on fighting the fight.
This is Zaclegend Usher
Thank you for reading about what I had to say, you can IM me in game for further talk about this subject :-)
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