Well, hello again and welcome to another one of my insane articles.Well, tonight guys I’m going to talk about you, or should I say a small minority of you who seem to have got the idea that as soon as you log in to SL you can become by default, a monkey.
What does she mean? I hear you ask. Well, I’ll explain;
What I mean by monkey is that some of you seem to have got the idea that logging into SL entitles you to take a retrograde step backwards through the evolutionary chain to a time when a man’s idea of saying ‘Hi girls’ was to walk around with his erect thingy on display for all to view. Perhaps they were having a ‘Who’s got the biggest tool?’ competition, do I know, or do I care? all I know is that every time I teleport into a certain shopping centre lately, some twerp comes up behind me with his thing pointing at my derriere! Whoever you are, I don’t mean to be horrid but, the last time I saw something like that, I was in the ape section at Blackpool zoo, clutching a stick of candy floss.
I mean is there something I’m not getting here? Is D&A Designs a favourite haunt of the monkey? Could it be that he was trying out some of the male skins on offer? Is there a human zoo there that I don’t want to know about, where you can go around with your thing hanging out to your heart’s content?
What I mean by monkey is that some of you seem to have got the idea that logging into SL entitles you to take a retrograde step backwards through the evolutionary chain to a time when a man’s idea of saying ‘Hi girls’ was to walk around with his erect thingy on display for all to view. Perhaps they were having a ‘Who’s got the biggest tool?’ competition, do I know, or do I care? all I know is that every time I teleport into a certain shopping centre lately, some twerp comes up behind me with his thing pointing at my derriere! Whoever you are, I don’t mean to be horrid but, the last time I saw something like that, I was in the ape section at Blackpool zoo, clutching a stick of candy floss.
I mean is there something I’m not getting here? Is D&A Designs a favourite haunt of the monkey? Could it be that he was trying out some of the male skins on offer? Is there a human zoo there that I don’t want to know about, where you can go around with your thing hanging out to your heart’s content?
I’m sure that SL will cater for you if that’s what you want to do. But please, whoever you are, it’s not funny and it’s not clever! Please do this in a place that’s suited to it, not in the middle of a bladdy shopping mal, when a girl’s out purchasing things for God’s sake!
I remember that the Monkey cage at the zoo said PLEASE DON’T REMOVE YOUR GLASSES IN THE PRESENCE OF THE APE! I think that anyone who wants to walk around a shopping mall with their thing sticking out should take note. Please could you put something above your head such as, ‘Warning I am a serial Flasher!’ Or better still, if you do wear glasses girls, be sure to remove them, if you don’t want to see monkey out and about!
So what are we to do with the monkey in our midst? Well I personally find that attack is the best form of defence, here are some of the comments that I have made to monkey thus far.
‘Put it away, you’re scaring the crap out of me!’
‘Last time I saw something like that, it was in a zoo.’
Or alternatively.
‘Bugger off and leave me to shop in peace you big tosser!
Anyone of these should do it, you can use all three put downs if you like. If like me you are unfortunate enough to meet him, feel free to pinch my put downs.
I remember that the Monkey cage at the zoo said PLEASE DON’T REMOVE YOUR GLASSES IN THE PRESENCE OF THE APE! I think that anyone who wants to walk around a shopping mall with their thing sticking out should take note. Please could you put something above your head such as, ‘Warning I am a serial Flasher!’ Or better still, if you do wear glasses girls, be sure to remove them, if you don’t want to see monkey out and about!
So what are we to do with the monkey in our midst? Well I personally find that attack is the best form of defence, here are some of the comments that I have made to monkey thus far.
‘Put it away, you’re scaring the crap out of me!’
‘Last time I saw something like that, it was in a zoo.’
Or alternatively.
‘Bugger off and leave me to shop in peace you big tosser!
Anyone of these should do it, you can use all three put downs if you like. If like me you are unfortunate enough to meet him, feel free to pinch my put downs.
Contributed by Amelia Lutrova
